Your zodiac sign determines your muffin sort.


The English muffin's holes represent Aries speeding down a potholed road. In the 19th century, Samuel B. Thomas gave Americans the English muffin. 

Tori Spelling represents gluttonous Taurus. Taurus indulges in oral sex cardio, pureed spinach salad, and Entemann's mini cakes. 



What matches coffee? Talking, taking, and eating these cakes. Because of their ADHD, Geminis use coffee and other stimulants.


Cancer makes blueberry scones and sings the blues. Mindy Kaling, a cancer comic, baked a pot for a sign that never leaves the house because store-bought ones lack fruit and icing sugar.

LEO: Banana cake

Lions rule the forest but prefer savannahs, scrublands, and meadows. The stately Leo likes to lead, seek favor, and actively "top" in all situations.


The Hermit card in the main arcana of the tarot represents Virgo, a sage who retreats into the wilderness to provide mankind with knowledge and cures.

Pumpkin chocolate chip muffins, like this cardinal air sign, are rich and festive. Pumpkin Spice is Libra. They smell pricey, taste good, and seek wealthy partners.


Scorpio: Cranberry orange cakes

Cranberries' blood-clot hue is associated with Mars, Scorpio's old king. Scorpion season yields the meat. Grapes cure UTIs and Scorpio rules the groin.


Sagittarius strives for greatness, travels far, and seeks wisdom. Native Americans, who had been roasting, dying, and pounding corn for millennia, gave European migrants cornmeal.


Saturn, the mean dad planet of limitation, punitive damages, and brushing, rules Capricorns, who are realistic and lack whimsy.


Song and emotion connect Aquarius with long hair, high times, bare feet, and LSD. Zucchini cakes were popularized by the hippie subculture.


Pisces, the drug muffins of the zodiac, are hopeful romantics who think love can turn a lemon, like their philandering trash monster ex, into an ideal partner or lemonade.

Stay Updated
On More News!

Click Here