Astrologer-predicted death of your zodiac sign


Like Aries icon Jim Creighton, this fire sign dies by baseball bat. Sergey Tuganov, a probable ram, died after daring a buddy $4K for 12 hours of sex. Viagra killed him.


Taurus can suffocate on chips or die from falling out of bed. Gluttony killed Swedish King Adolf Fredrick on Mardi Gras in 1771.


Geminis, easily diverted and scatterbrained, die while driving while texting their ex, changing the radio station, curling their eyebrows, and crushing an Adderall.


Cancer is crushed by their mental luggage, unpaid parking fines, tattered stuffed animals, sweater collection, and unmet expectations.


Leo would die trying to bare on a terrace. Rulers of the fifth house of joy, they may dance themselves to death like Strasbourg residents did in 1518.


Virgo dies of ennui, falls out of a tree, or chokes on herbal supplements and/or harsh losses.


Envious spouses, incurable STDs, or botched plastic surgery kill Libra. Libra Venus-ruled George Plantagenet chose a poetic end.


Scorpios live on in their grudges, hexes, and curses, so this is a trap query. Witches, lords of the eighth house of sex, death, and other people's money,


Sagittarius dies from a champagne cork, a partly deflated bounce house, or giggling at themselves.


Capricorn is determined and profit-oriented. A falling bar bell, masturbating to a money-covered couch, a dominatrix they shortchanged, or a mob of irate workers kills them.


Aquarius finds murder hard. In typical fixed sign fashion, Aquarius Gary Hoy died while making a point, or wicked-eyed water bearer/wizard Gregor Rasputin was poisoned, shot in the head, 


Pisces, living on seawater and ether, dies of boredom or drowns in the shower.

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